It’s every parent’s dream to see their child become an achiever and a success in the eyes of the world. But not every child can be a Sachin Tendulkar or an Amitabh Bachchan or a Sameer Bhatia or an Indira Gandhi – or can they? What is it that distinguishes these children – fate, their destiny or perhaps something more concrete? Is fame and glory the only characteristic of a winner or can ordinary people also be classified as winners? Lets take a look at the answers as we try and isolate the factors that go into the raising of a winner!
Winners believe in themselves – Perhaps the most important thing that you can do for your children is to teach them to trust and believe in themselves independent of what the rest of the world is saying. For many of us, this is also the toughest thing that we can do because in setting up our children to follow their own instincts and dreams, we also erode our own authority and influence. After all if you teach your child that her ownself-respect is more important than your approval, it’s bound to backfire a few times. But without instilling this sense of self in the child, you can forget about creating a winner because those who look outside themselves for approval will always follow rather than lead.
Winners are disciplined -unfortunately; dreams require hard work and discipline to become realized. Discipline incorporates qualities like self-motivation and the ability to persistently and consistently put in dedicated work regardless of the visible results. Children who achieve things too easily in terms of academic, social or financial success often cannot summon the necessary grit to keep going when faced with tough situations. It therefore becomes your responsibility to see that your children are exposed to a fine mix of things that they can do easily (bolsters self esteem) and those that stretch their capabilities a little.
Winners enjoy what they do – parents who push their children into fields more suited to parental or security needs are less likely to enjoy the pride of parenting a winner. Sometimes it pays to support your children in the pursuit of their interests even when they seem silly or socially inadequate. While there are a lot of people with talent and hard work, the cutting edge is provided by passion – a wholehearted dedication to the work at hand!
Winners see themselves in control – the parents of winners don’t teach them that fate or destiny is the controlling influence in their lives and nor do they make themselves out to be helpless victims. What they do teach their children is that hard work and determination usually gets results but if not, well in the immortal words of Scarlet O’Hara, tomorrow’s another day!
Winners are not afraid of failing – The most well known figures have recovered from failure innumerable times. The fear of failing or depression generated from failure is one of the surest methods to becoming a loser. So tell your children again and again – and believe it yourself – nothing worthwhile is achieved without trial and error and failure is the stepping stone to success. Or as another several times failed winner put it – Try, try and try again till you succeed!
Being a winner doesn’t always translate into social and material success. But if your child has these qualities and is a decent, caring, loving person besides, then she’s already a winner – and so are you for raising her!