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Teaching Values and morals |
What
are values? These can be defined in legal, social, religious or cultural
terms, but basically a value is a principle that either accomplishes well
being to both the practitioner and those on whom it is practiced, or at
least prevents harm. By this definition important values are honesty,
courage self discipline, moderation, loyalty, respect, love, kindness,
and unselfishness..
| Studies
have shown that there are direct relationships between moral
behaviours of children and the amount of time spent talking
with parents. |
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With or without
parental help, children begin developing both a conscious and subconscious
value system from the toddler years onwards. These are picked up partly
from friends,
babysitting,
partly from TV but mostly from their family. Children test,
develop, modify and sometimes alter these values throughout their school
years. During the teen years, a struggle for autonomy begins and efforts
are made to construct an independent value system. Normally however this
does not differ substantially from the value system of their parents.
The
best places to teach strong values is the home and parents are
uniquely equipped to do so because: -
- children
learn by example more than on the basis of what they are
told:
- children
are predisposed to be influenced by their parents.
- consciously
or unconsciously the value system of a family is adopted
in large part by the children.
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The best ways
for a parent to teach values are: -
- Know your own values. If you yourself are confused, you will pass
on the confusion to your children.
- Practice what you preach. Children are sponges and they will learn
to apply and live the values they are taught only if they see you doing
the same.
- Articulate your values clearly and simply.
- Explain to your child why you hold those particular values rather
than any others.
- Accept that your child will add her own unique interpretation to the
values you teach.
- Make sure that practice of those values by your child is acknowledged,
praised and encouraged e.g. telling the truth about a misdeed may be
treated as commuting a part of the offence.
| We
should teach values to our children because it is the most significant
and effective thing we can do for their happiness. |
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§ Make
use of stories, hypothetical scenarios, what if games and discussions.
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For
Toddlers
- Simple
Stories
- Demonstrations
- Little
poems
- Songs
- Positive
reinforcement for value reflecting behaviour.
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For
Kids
- Games
- More
elaborate stories
- Awards
- Memorising
values
- Positive
reinforcement for value reflecting behaviour
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For
Preteens &Teens
- Discussions
- Role
playing
- Opinion
& experience sharing
- Positive
reinforcement for value reflecting behaviour
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Before you
can begin to teach values to your children, it is a good idea to see whether
it will benefit them or not. Some values traditionally carried down from
generation to generation may have actually outlived their usefulness in
today's world. For example blind obedience may have been valuable in keeping
a large family together but will inhibit your children from learning to
think for themselves. Ultimately the reason you choose for imparting a
value system is as important - if you put tradition before the happiness
or wellbeing of your children, rest assured that not only will they sub-consciously
learn to do the same, consciously they will resent you for it.
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